Bucket List

Bryan needed to take a break, so this is Kim today.  I know, it won't be as funny - but don't worry I'll make sure he is back after the holidays!

Bryan does not have an official bucket list, but if he did I am sure what we did last weekend would be on it.  Back in the 60's (when I wasn't even born yet), he has told me that he got up early every Saturday morning to watch Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.  The TV show is still on over here, so I've gotten to see a few episodes.  It is like Flipper, but with a kangaroo instead of a dolphin.

We went on a tour of the Northern Beaches of Sydney with Ken and Beth this weekend.  Bryan made a special request of the tour guide to take us to where they filmed the show.  Bryan was very excited to see the ranger station and the place where they landed the helicopter.  Unfortunately, this was all we found when we got there.

We are leaving for our cruise today and will be off line for the next few weeks.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!  Check back in mid-January for the next round of blogs.

My Critic

Kim always reads the blogs before they get posted. She reviews and sometimes censors them to make sure they are appropriate for everyone - no bad words and limited potty-humor. We had lunch this week and she took her role to a new level. I thought I'd share our lunch conversation with you. Also thought I'd experiment with a new medium...

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8096325/

Peter Garrett

The lead singer for a famous '80s rock band is now a member of Parliament representing an area close to where we live.  He's been in the news a lot - I guess he's not a very good MP - but he's got name recognition so he'll keep getting elected.

Remember this hit from 1987?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDkwUlaJhs0

When I looked him up I was amazed at how people all over Australia make fun of his dancing (there are official contests and events mocking it).

That strikes me as funny, because when that song came out we thought his jerky moves were a new style that was so cool that I remember a couple of my friends out at the clubs emulating it. I would have joined them but I can't dance in any manner or style.

If you advance to 1:44 in the video - you will see the move Joe and Wilmot used to throw down at Westport back in their single days. I hope Mark, Chris, Craig are reading - because I'm sure they will remember.

Thankfully -  "Cant Touch This" came out soon after and Rodney mentored Joe on some new moves he used while dating Tricia. I'm not sure the Peter Garrett moves would have worked out so well for him.

Driving Safety

We were watching the news this morning with our coffee. A story came on about how dangerous texting and phoning are while driving. They were showing statistics about how many accidents are caused by it. Midway through the report they flashed the top 5 causes of driver distraction accidents - I didn't get the actual percentages, but they were listed on the TV screen next to each item:

1. texting
2. eating
3. changing music
4. perving
5. messing with your GPS

Wait!... What was number 4 again?  I ran to my computer to google it - "checking out attractive men/women".

They actually keep a statistic for that. That's kind of funny. What's even more funny is how do they get the data? Self Reported? Eye Witness accounts?

Cop: (looking at smoking wreckage) Looks like you smashed her up pretty good, sonny? Textin' was ya?

Driver: Nah, I wasn't textin' - just got a bit distracted.

Cop: So wot was ya doin' then? I gotta check one of these boxes 'ere on m' sheet.

Driver: I was, um, changin' my music I was. Yep took my eyes off the road for just a few seconds and found misself here in the ditch. Hap'nd in a blink, it did. I'm sure sorry about that officer.

Old Lady Witness: (Shouting from her window) He wasn't changin' eee's music! I saw him! Bloke was pervin' on those girls from St. Catherine's on their way hockey practice! That's what done 'im in.  Perved he's way right into that ditch I tell ya. I hope you have a box you can check on that sheet o' yours that says he was a pervin'!

Cop: Number 4. Check.

Bee Dibitee part II

I tried a new strategy for ordering fast food. This happened at a food court in a shopping mall in Chatswood, just north of Sydney (offered as further proof that I don't make this stuff up- it's all real).

I selected a place called Oporto and stood well back from the counter while I reviewed my plan in my head.

I decided to go with the Rappa (a spicy chicken wrap). I didn't really want a chicken wrap - but I was scanning the menu on the wall behind the register and:
1. It's two syllables. Rap-pa. I can't screw that up. The girl at the register will get that without me having to repeat it 3 times  - louder and louder each time. Some of the other items look better - but I'm going to stick with two syllables until I've got some wins under my belt as they say.
2. It's the first thing listed. For some reason they don't have numbers in the box with a picture and short description, but this would have been number 1. It's in the top left corner of the grid. The spot reserved for the Big Mac Value Meal or the Whopper - that spot.

While I was reviewing my plan - I noticed the girl taking orders was looking at me and saying something in my direction. I ignored her because I was outside the imaginary arch that defines the engagement zone. I was in the safe zone for passers by and the undecided who are not ready to engage in the ordering process.

Talk all you want, sweetie. I'll decide when I'm going to step inside this arch and then you can help me. I'm in command here. I'm going stride confidently up to you to tell you that I want a "rap-pa". I'm going to say it once and I'm going to say it clearly and  then your hand will move that that machine in front of you and you are going to push that button. After you push that button you are going to mutter a bunch of questions and I'm going to say "no thank you"  every time. I won't know if you are asking me if I want tomato sauce (ketchup) or if I want a drink or if I am going to dine in or whatever. "no thank you" with a confident smirk is all you are going to get.

I know exactly how much a "rappa" costs and I calculate exactly how much change I should get. I remind myself that she may be asking me questions that I won't understand - but as soon as she presses the "rappa" button on that register - she has two tasks to do: give me change, and hand me a bag with a rappa in it. Done. Walk away. Victory is mine. I won't have to squint and lean and plead and say "huh" multiple times. I won't have to trust whatever change she gives me. I am the alpha male and I am in command of this transaction. I'll buy a drink in the vending machine. It's not efficient - but it's dignified.

"Let's do this" as I step into the engagement zone. With the steeled determination of a gunfighter I focus on her hand - watching for it to move toward the button. Ignore her lips because her words will confuse and distract...

"Biddi bi dibbbity?"
"Yes, I'd like the... Rapp-uh, ....please" ('yes, I'd like the???? that wasn't part of rehearsal!!! stop improvising and get back on script)

No movement at all. Her hand doesn't even twitch.

I exaggerate the tilt of my head to make it obvious that I'm looking at the very first item at the extreme top left of the wall behind her. "Rapp-uh. Yep. I'll be having the ..... Rapp-uh" - Like I'm talking to myself out loud and I give a confirming nod like I'm validating my choice to myself while giving her time to find the #1 button on the register.

Nothing.

I stare in disbelief. Silent. I'm not saying another word until she presses the button. Awkward time passes and I'm not listening to her but she is probably muttering her syllables that have no "f" sound and no "th" sound and instead extra syllables in their place so her tongue can get caught up. And rage starts to build inside me. It must be showing on my face because she actually looks scared of me and starts to panic.

She looks over her shoulder at the pictures on the menu and she is desperately trying to figure out what a "yesudlikdarupuhpliz" is.

My mind is racing - are you shitting me? it's the first one! nothing else even sounds anything like rappa! Nothing else even has close to 2 syllables. Look! It's right there...!! Can't you see it? Don't you press that button a hundred times a day?

... even though there are no numbers on the menu I move closer and lean over the counter and I hold up my index finger "number one" and then I point at it. How can she miss it?

Nothing. It looks like she might actually start crying.

I realize that from her perspective I am a menacing giant, hulking over her. And, to make things worse, even if she was following my "number one" logic - I just told her number 2. You see - in most countries outside of the US - the thumb counts.

This reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago - I learned about the "thumb counts" rule while in Europe and I tried it when ordering two beers in Austria. Don't do this without practicing in front of a mirror. Even though the thumb counts - you don't have to jab it into the air - it needs to be in a kind of a natural, relaxed position. Otherwise, as I found out, people are a bit taken back by the crazed American waving the imaginary finger gun around in the air to get the waiter's attention. Don't believe me - then you try it and see what happens.

Somehow she composes herself and figures it out.

"D-r-d-r-d-r-drapp-ah!"  She exclaims with pride. A perfect rolling of the r's. "Yeah, rapp-uh".  My r's won't roll. Defeated. I give in. Full surrender. No alpha male. No command. A defeated gunfighter with no bullets in his fake finger gun...


 Yeah, I'll have sauce. huh? this one? no. Huh? Diet Coke. Huh? Huh? I'm dining in today. Dining in. yes, here. How much? Ten how much? This one or the big one?

I did the walk of shame away from the counter.  A line had formed behind me now. We didn't look at each other. I was looking at the ground and they were riveted on the board. Rehearsing. Writing their own scripts. Planning their strategy. I asked an Australian friend if he has the problem. "Yep, mate. We all do". I'll let you know if I ever make it through this process with dignity. Not on this day.

Bryan killed a butterfly tonight...

As a 10-12-year-old I was influenced (affected? damaged?) by ironic tales of destiny versus free will with undertones of the supernatural and a 30-minute (or less than 100-page) plot line. Rod Serling, Hitchcock, Ray Bradbury, Asimoff  - that kind of stuff. Brent could read the entire Hobbit series, consuming in 500-page increments. When I picked up a book - I'd first look at how many pages there were before I decided whether to  read it.
I got through the Chronicles of Narnia only because C.S. (S.?) Lewis wrote a bunch of thin, 150-page books instead of one, epic 750 page door stop (like the ones next to Brent's bed).

One short story that I still remember was a science fiction tale where some time travelers went back a billion years. One of them strayed from the path after he was warned not to and accidentally stepped on a butterfly. That changed destiny and when he got back to his time - the "other guy" won the presidential election and it was bad and it was all because he stepped on the butterfly and started some chain reaction that propelled a billion years of alternate universe.

That reminds me - in a future blog I'll tell the story about how Kim got an A+ in a college physics class for presenting on time travel by plagiarizing the scene from Back to the Future where Emmet Brown draws the alternate time line on the chalk board. I think that physics professor must have had an infatuation similar to the french guy in my previous blog who took english lessons so he could so he could praise her in e-mail...

I've gotten way of course now (but I have to put Kim stuff in or her family quits reading)... let me get back to my story from tonight...

Kim is in Melbunn (no 'r' sound) tonight so I'm by myself for the night. As I was sitting in the quiet and watching the waves in the distance I remembered that someone back home recently asked me how warm the water was. I didn't know. I haven't even stuck my toe in the water. "That's weird" I thought to myself. I've been to the beach multiple times. I take a ferry almost every day. I could practically reach down and touch the water multiple times a day... weird.

Then I thought back and started remembering the different abstract things that happened whenever I was around the water (got new shoes on - don't want sand in them, my hands are full of shopping bags, the game is on TV back home let's go...). Things that kept me from taking 10 steps over to stick my toe in. Then my Twilight Zone 10-year-old imagination started to take over... this is actually what happened earlier this evening. I sat by myself and pondered ...

Oh my God. This could be pre-determined destiny for me. I'm going to spend whatever time I have living here and a series of ironic and pre-destined events will prevent me from ever touching the water. I'll get summoned back home unexpectedly and ...

and decades from now I'll be a shriveled and frail old man. On my death bed I'll remember, and I'll come out of my coma and whisper ... "... I never touched the water". Kim will be by my side taking care of me and she has waited days for me to wake up and she leans closer and says "what did you say dear? what can I do?"  "I <cough cough> never <swallow and gulp, Kim wets my lips with a damp rag> touched  the water".


Kim has spent her days by my side and solving my problems - so she spends the last of our savings and charters a one-way flight on a special life-support air ambulance with a wheel chair. She flies me to Australia and wheels me onto the beach, pushing with all of her strength through the deep sand, and in my last act of free will I dip my wrinkled and blue toe into the water. 


Kim, now penniless with no way home smiles. Because all she cares about is solving my last wish. 


The sun sets directly over our former home in the background and the credits roll....










Screw This! I muttered to myself as I snapped out of my dream imagination state and back to reality. I'm going to go walk to the beach RIGHT NOW and get in the water and put an end to this nonsense.

So I got up,  put my shoes on and took off to the beach, smiling at how vivid my little story got to be in my mind.

As I approached the beach I saw a Ben and Jerry's on the corner, steps from the beach. I'd never noticed it before. I decided that a cup of Ben and Jerry's was just what I needed tonight - so I went in and got a cup of ice cream and decided to eat it on the sea wall across the street. Probably 15 steps from the water. I didn't want to get my shoes wet, but my hands were full of ice cream stuff, so I decided to finish the ice cream so my hands would be free to hold my shoes when I would go to the water and defeat destiny by stomping on my figurative butterfly.

I finished the ice cream and I saw a trash bin behind me. So I got up and walked 20 steps away from the beach to throw away my cup. I had dripped some on my hands and they were sticky - so I noticed a rinsing station another 20 steps  further away from the beach. So I go rinse my hands off. With my hands clean and my belly full (and my feet still as dry as when I stepped off of the plane last month) - you know what I did next? I shit you not. I started walking back up the hill to go home. Never once sticking my toe in the water that was just a few feet away. I'm not making this up.

At the second cross walk I remembered my original mission and realized that destiny was winning and that maybe, in fact, I had no free will. I should give up. There is nothing I can do.

With all of the concentration I could muster I turned around and headed back toward the water. I didn't make eye contact with anyone and a car honked at me for stepping out into the street - but I made it to the water.

And as the first wave rolled over my feet and I changed the course of my destiny -  I remembered that I had my iPhone with me. Hey, this is blog material!

Now anyone who has read Bradbury or watched Night Gallery on 70's television knows that this is how the story would have ended ....

The spot where I took this picture tonight was, in fact, the exact spot where 50 years from now Kim was destined to wheel me for my last act of free will. Since the gods of irony and destiny do not lose - a deadly box jellyfish stings me and I die there. Alone. No Kim. No smile and sunset and credits and music. Cheating myself out of the next 50 years that I was supposed to have... 

More photos of our new home

By request:

The living room. That window "air conditioner" in the upper left is the only heating and cooling in the entire apartment.  No vents or ductwork or anything. The telescope is for looking at the harbor, sailing ships, whale watching. I also watched a guy eat a bowl of cereal one night when I was spying on the neighbors with it.

Saturday morning breakfast.

Kim is getting pissy because I never let her take my picture. So I let her have this one.

Master bedroom. The tiny closet on the far side is all I get. Princess Kim has a wall full of closets, shelves, and drawers. The rest of my clothes are in a guest room closet that is down a long hallway 21 steps away (I counted this morning). My goal is to get ready for work and only make the 21-step journey once.

Guest Room number 1. Waiting for visitors. Those 4 drawers are all the storage space you get though because the closet is full of my work clothes.

This is "Little Manly" cove. The beach is a small, neighborhood beach. The fence you see in the lower left is to keep sharks out. I suspect that this is the only beach where my son Travis will stick his toe in the water. See the yellow and green ferry boat in the upper right? That is how I get to work... Kim prefers the bus. More about that in a future blog.

This is the master bathroom. It is at the foot of our bed. Can anyone see the problem with this bathroom? There is no door! I've never had a toilet where you were expected to go "in public".  Liane (following this blog) designs houses and she doesn't believe in potty doors either.  She uses potty time as bonus "conversation time" with her husband. I don't get it. Whenever Kim and I wake up in the middle of the night we walk 21 steps down the long hall to take care of our business in private. I'm getting tired of the long walk though. I think its time we moved beyond the honeymoon phase and I'm going to start taking the short trip.

Our first sunset on the deck in Manly - 23-Nov-2010

We moved into our "permanent" home yesterday at Manly Beach.

Happy Birthday Laurie. We definitely enjoyed the 23rd - I'm sure you will like it too!

bee dibitee

As we've ventured further from Kirribilli we have found that most fast food or convenience stores are staffed by people with a bizarre accent that we can't make any sense out of. We just bought a bottle of Coke zero at a convenience store. Kim walked to the register and held it up for the guy to see and kind of kept walking. I was digging in my pocket for some coins to pay for it. I heard him say to her "bee dibitee". I'm  thinking to myself "I got nothing. No idea". So I look over at Kim -" dear, how much is it?" I knew that she had no clue - but I'm tired of saying "huh?". She looks back at me - yep, I was right she's got nothing either. This same thing happened multiple times on our outing today and I was getting frustrated. So - she tries again, slowly mouthing out  "how much?". We are staring at his lips trying to pick up any clue of what he is going to say. So he slowly and carefully says "bee... dibi.. tee..." I just started laying coins on the counter slowly until he took 4 and gave me 50 cents change.

It was $3.50 or."bee dibitee."

For NFL Fans Only

Censored. Kim made me remove this one.

1. she didn't get it
2. when I explained it she didn't think it was funny
3. it had references to John Hopoate, a local rugby player who was thrown out of the league because he kept .... okay dear. I stopped. They can google it if they want to learn more... I apologize.

This picture is blurry on purpose

Sydney is a very safe city. Australians take pride in their community and don't tolerate certain behavior that Americans openly accept in their daily lives.

I have yet to see a car on the road with tinted windows, missing or obscured license plates, nor drivers displaying menacing behavior. In KC - take a trip down US 71 or I-435 on the east side for the opposite of this.

They control their borders. Equally important to our passport and work visas was a receipt showing we had pre-paid private health insurance before we even got on the plane in the US. Even with insurance - don't even think about dropping a baby for the first 2 years and claiming any kind of citizenship or "rights". You can plan to pay every penny of the Baby's health care expense out of pocket. And some think Arizona is overstepping?

The legal alcohol level for drivers in Missouri  and Kansas is .08% - the legal limit for Americans driving in Australia is 0.0. That's right 0.0. That's even more strict than Lee and Pat's one drink rule! (If you pass an Aussie driving test and get a local license the legal limit is raised to .05).

If somehow, against all odds, someone manages to get their hands on some drugs - they need to be prepared to step off a train or a bus and, when they least expect it, they will be facing a scene like this:

It's the equivalent of a DUI checkpoint for people who aren't driving.

We just passed through here about an hour ago. It's the second one we've seen. Always on the lookout for blog material I asked permission to take a picture. I was given carefully placed access and told to avoid getting clear shots of anyone's face. There were another 10 or more officers lined up beside me as I took this picture. Two of them reviewed my pictures and they allowed this one.

And yes, I know you are wondering... while I was setting up to take the picture the dog quietly flagged a young lady and she was swiftly escorted to a private area by at least two officers. It happened so quickly and quietly that we almost didn't realize it happened less than 10 feet from us.

Roos

We found the kangaroos. They let us get pretty close. We could have gotten a better angle for the photo but we were both tip-toeing through the tall grass to aviod deadly snakes and funnel web spiders, anxious to get the picture and get out of there.

Our day with a tour group

About 90 seconds before I took this picture - every one of these people had their cameras out, pointed, just above my head in a frenzy of whirring, clicking, and shrieking and pointing. They are now embarrassed and acting like nothing happened. I think the guy in the yellow knows that I'm taking their picture so I can make fun of them. He is right. And it's all Kim's fault...

We went on a tour in the Blue Mountains. It was one of those things where they pick you up in a bus in the morning and you spend all day with these people and a tour guide. If you come to visit us we will send you on this tour on a day when we have to work.

We learned from our guide that during the day we would probably see Kangaroos, maybe a funnel web spider, maybe some reptiles - but Koala's don't really show up in the Blue Mountains and in his 50+ years living there he had never seen one.

The stop where I took the picture is a loading platform for one of those touristy cable cars that dangle from a wire as you travel over a valley. They let us onto this platform and everyone rushed and crowded to the front of the line so they could get a good seat for the ride down. Kim and I were about done with the crowd situation so we lingered at the back of the group.

The tour guide explained to the group "sit on the left! not the right! You can't see anything on the right side". The crowd pressed even closer to the loading gate since the prospect of not getting a view was unthinkable. I imagined the cable car twisting and tilting in the wind while everyone lunged  to the left.  I instinctively took a step back from the crowd - my "flee" instinct trying to tell me to get away from these people. Kim always stays by my side - even if she did have the urge to crowd to the front - she knows I don't do that.

It's important that you get the image in your head so the rest of this story makes sense. Kim and I are mingling in the back - away from the crowd. The crowd is shoved up to the front of the platform staring at the cable riveted for a glimpse of the cable car to come into view. The crowd is mostly a mix of Europeans and Orientals (who have never been on a cable car it seems).

As we are just looking around, Kim notices something in the trees between the parking lot, the souvenir shop, and our loading platform. Kim says to me "look, there is a fake Koala in that tree". I look to where she is pointing and it's a cheesy plastic, blue, big-eared, smiley faced imitation Koala bear carefully placed in a tree where everyone can see it.

 Someone in the crowd overheard our conversation "blah blah blah Koala blah blah blah". Then all hell broke loose. The Europeans were shrieking "Kovala, Kovala!!" and the Asians were shouting at each other "Koooouooola!". I turned around and all of the cameras are pointed just above my head and they were frantically clicking and focusing and zooming. The crowd that I had backed away from was now surging towards me and all I could see was camera lenses getting ready to swallow me up.The biggest regret of my short blogging career is that I didn't get a picture of what I saw in those moments.

The tour guide was about to bust out laughing but he decided instead, that he would work up the crowd, "It's amazing! I've never seen one in the Blue mountains! a Miracle!"

It took about a minute for the people to realize it wasn't real. That's when I got my camera out. They were all kind of embarrassed and not making eye contact.

Except this hapless German guy:

He still hasn't figured it out and he is still zooming, focusing leaning closer so he can get the perfect shot to show his friends back home... "but Hanz, I thought Kovala's vere not ze color blue?".

Toilets

Toilets here have two flush buttons.

The button on the left (see photo) is a girly, minimal, dainty flush.

The button on the right is a manly, wake-up-the-neighbors, turbo flush. It uses some kind of special fluid dynamic device that combines a powerful suction of air with a turbulent blast of water to violently empty the contents of the bowl.

You want to be standing up when you launch that button or it's like sending your junk through a carwash.

I got my face too close when I was doing my Coriolis Effect experiments. We were out of tissues.

Veteran's Day

I know there is at least one of you following (even if it is in private).

Thanks for your service. Picture borrowed from Drudge.

Kim's book and the empty box of tissues

We couldn’t move to Australia until after the Cerner Health Conference in early October. This is our big event where over 3,000 clients come from all over the world to KC to meet and learn about our new products. Kim spent much of the week “on stage” to unveil our new oncology offerings that will help our clients manage their business of diagnosing, treating, research, clinical trials, etc. Kim’s job for the past 2 years has been to design it and manage the software engineers to make sure they build programs that will work.

For us the week represented a milestone and a time to “turn the page” on our careers and our lives. It was a strange few days. A lot of Kim’s clients had only met her over the phone – so when they finally met in person it was just in time to say “good-bye”.  We had lots of good-byes along with some anxious uncertainty about what was going to happen next for us. Is this really the right thing for us to do?

At one point Kim was on the show floor doing demonstrations of the new software to groups of Cancer doctors and nurses. During a short break a woman approached her. She was Australian and had exotic, long, curly black eyelashes. She introduced herself “Kim, it’s so nice to meet you. We heard you were coming. We need you. Please read this book and I’ll contact you when you arrive”. She handed her a book about the life of Dr. Chris O’Brien.

We asked several of the Cerner Australia executives about it. They all knew who the woman was – but they didn’t know how she became aware of Kim. It remains a bit of a mystery to us.

That night we got on google and learned that Dr. O’Brien is a well known Australian cancer doctor who very publicly got cancer himself.  Some years ago he had been featured on a very popular Australian reality show about healthcare. Ironically, he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in 2007. His fellow doctors were able to extend his life for a couple of years longer than expected and he used this time to get funding and support for a new, state of the art Cancer hospital called Lifehouse.

The woman who introduced herself to Kim is in charge of designing the technical infrastructure for the hospital. Her name is Ann Marie and Kim met with her this week to begin their work together.  .Kim has an awesome opportunity to leave a permanent legacy here in Sydney. I'm really proud of her.

She finished the book earlier in the week.  By the time she got through the last chapter – all of the tissues were gone.

Here is a link to information about Kim's new project.

http://www.lifehouserpa.org.au/index.aspx

Here is an example of the adulation Kim gets from her client/fans during the KC event. This one is French. He took her picture to share with / brag to his buddies stuck back home. Um hmm...

From: Philippe lin@chu-tours.fr]
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 4:03 AM
To: Ince,Kim
Subject: beauty in CHC-2010

Hi Kim,

We never tire of admiring the outstanding beauty in CHC-2010 ...
Nevertheless we regret not to work longer with you on the draft Oncology
We appreciate your participation in this working group
We wish you good luck in Australia

See you later.

Best regards,

Philippe | Equipe DPP Prescription | Pôle Finances Facturation Système d'Information | CHRU de -tours.fr

+33689622528

Virg asked about spiders...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WlW_tYEW7o

Regatta

There is a big Wednesday afternoon sailing race today. You can't see from the photo but they are moving fast around the corner.

The BWS store and BYO

The store in the background is a BWS store (Beer Wine Spirits). We go there, buy a bottle of wine for "normal" price and then take it into the restaurant. Beer too. The restaurant charges a $2 corking fee - but it's still cheaper. Not all restaurants are BYO - but many are. Especially in neighborhoods. Locals have special insulated bags that keep the bottles cold. It's just another thing we really like about living here.

Oh yeah - we were celebrating last night because we got our apartment. It's at Manly Beach and has two guest rooms and great views of the water. Let's start booking trips over, okay? I hate to see the rooms sit empty. We move in 22-Nov. We did not have to do the open house scramble for this one (see other blog post). There is another way - your company hires a "relocation consultant" who has secret connections and sets up secret, private meetings (interview? audition?) with the owners before the property is listed. I tried to hide the black hair on the back of my hands during the interview. Seriously. He was looking at it. For real. It's a sign of my Portugese descent and, believe me, around here that is about as diverse as it gets. I think he was trying to figure out how Mediterranean I was ... Turkish? no, Greek? no, Lebanese? I must have passed the screening - whatever he came up with.

Ken and Beth will be our first visitors (that we know of anyway) 16-Dec. and we go on our New Zealand cruise Christmas week. Ken IS a follower of the blog who marked himself "private" so we can't see him. He doesn't believe in online social networking. I guess there are several people following who are marked "private". We don't like that because we want to see who is out there reading.

By request

I had a request from a follower to snap a photo from out of my office window... This angle doesn't show the opera house - but if it did, it would be at the extreme right of the frame. Now that I know how to post pictures - we will be adding more.

The Coriolis Effect

Have you ever heard that water spins the opposite direction down a drain in the southern hemisphere? That was going to be my next blog! Well I tested it and noticed that it was different in different situations (sink, toilet, cup of water with a hole in the bottom).So I looked it up. It's not true! Many other factors influence it much more than the Coriolos effect of the earth.

Hurricanes do spin the opposite direction - but something as piddly as bath water will spin based on how the tub, faucet, and drain are designed. Bummer - I was hoping to confirm this one personally.

It was also a bit embarrassing when the dishwasher lady walked in and caught me in the coffee room poking a hole in the bottom of my empty coffee cup.

Digital Video Recording

I try to record live sports events so I can speed through the commercials. It rarely works out because I always find out the score before I get to watch it. Even if I just let it get ahead by an hour or so. My favorite mishaps:

1. I'm watching a Chiefs game and I'm about an hour behind. The Chiefs are up by 20 points in the third quarter. Kim's mom calls and they chat. The conversation turns to the game - Kim says "don't say anything, Bryan is watching it and he is behind". Laurie says "okay - I won't say anything. It's not over yet - but it's exciting!" Exciting???? In my world they are 20 points up and cruising for the win. They blew the lead and lost in overtime.
2. MU football is ranked #1 in the nation and playing OU in the big 12 championship game. We are flying home from the UK - but the game is being recorded at home and will be waiting for us to watch when we get there. We change planes in Chicago and the last guy on the plane has an OU hat on - the guy behind me says "congratulations - great game".
3. We start recording the game and go to the Raymore Price Chopper to get chips and dip. We'll let the game get ahead about an hour. The Price Chopper is empty, but the guy at the meat counter comes running out and yells down the aisle - "The Raiders got an interception but we only gave up a field goal". What a joker.
4. This one happened today. In Sydney. I have a fragile network connection to my home that let's me access my DVR over the internet. As we left our place this morning I set the recorder for the MU/ Texas Tech game. Saturday afternoon is my Sunday morning so it works out. We are 16 time zones ahead of KC right now. We walk across the famous harbor bridge and find a little pub / restaurant downtown. Some Americans are sitting next to us and they don't know the drill for ordering food in pubs - so I strike up a conversation with them. We chat. They are from Chicago (they invented the smoothie machine that McDonald's is using). We all go back to our own conversations - but from the corner of my eye I see the guy clicking around on his iPhone. He shouts across the room "MU is leading at half time, if you care". I just smile back. Then I look at Kim with a "can you believe this shit" look on my face. She replies "It's your fault for being friendly".

Property Showings

We've had a couple of open houses over the past few months while we try to sell our house. Our agent advertises and comes over and sits there to greet people for 3 or 4 hours.

In Sydney an "open house" lasts 15 minutes. We are trying to find a place at the beach. Since it's the beginning of the summer there isn't much left to pick from. We got a call the other day - "be at this address at 2:15 today".

We arrived and there were about 15 people waiting outside the door. The agent opened the door and people rushed in. The current tenants had their belongings in there and things were getting jostled and knocked around.There were applications laying out on the counter and people were applying on the spot. Kim asked the agent how they would decide who gets it - he shrugged and said "depends on the owner" - sometimes it's first in, sometimes it's best dressed, sometimes it's draw from a hat.

The rent for this small, old apartment was $675 per week. Yes, that's per week - not month. Since there is such a shortage, you would think they would raise the rent to meet the demand. That just isn't done here. There is an egalitarian element to society here. If the other apartments in that building are going for $675 - then everyone pays the same. If the Ince's are paying more for theirs - does that mean they are better than everyone else? Does that mean the owner of that unit thinks his is better than ours?

In this respect - Americans are sometimes considered a bit opportunistic and boorish (because we would just charge more for rent - duh). At least that's how I read it.

Oh yeah - we didn't like the apartment and didn't apply.

October 29

We arrived. Checked into our temporary apartment at Milson's Point. Just across Sydney Harbour from the famous Opera House.

The first thing I did was check the cable tv package. Two and a half men is on 4 times per day. They also have several other American shows on regularly - Simpsons, SouthPark, Friends, Judge Judy. Fox News, ESPN, Showtime - this will work!

October 28

We had no October 28. We left LA near midnight on the 27th, flew 14 hours, crossed the international date line and arrived Friday morning, October 29.

October 26 and 27

We stop over in Los Angeles to stay with my sister Terri and her family. Brenton jr. (5) and Hayden (3) are bright and full of joy. And they love mom's chicken marsala! Traci and Mom - you should make sure to plan this as part of the menu when they visit later this month.

We visited a pumpkin patch, haunted house, petting zoo park. At one point there was a guy who posed his family under a tree and he backed up far enough to frame the picture just so. He backed up about 50 feet to get the picture just right. Hayden saw him with his camera in the "shoot" position and dashed out to a point halfway between him and the family under the tree. She looked up at the camera and flashed her precious smile and pose.

Then uncle Bryan ruined it at dinner. I told the story to Brenton Sr. who wasn't there when it happened. We all laughed at the "look at me" gene that has been passed along. Even though Hayden is only 3 - she has the emotional intelligence of a teenager. She was embarrassed and said "I did NOT do that" through tears and buried her face in her arms.I feel terrible. I visited for 2 days and I hope I didn't crush her spirit for life! I had no idea she had that level of awareness. I still would have told the story - I just would have been more discreet about it.

It's been a year since we lost Slade. I picture him teaching Rowdy how to hold the small end of the football so he can throw it with a spiral. They have worked out a secret play they are going to pull on us in the great family touch football game that's been planned. Nimmo has made the field nice and level, Grandpa's got meat on the smoker and there is a green Coleman "ice chest" full of shasta pop. Plenty of creme soda and lemon-lime. Grandma has two jugs of Limeaid - one with pulp, one without. Edna and Eugene are already in their seats waiting for the game to start.

October 22

I still have a few days before we go to Australia - but things are coming together. I've just been added to the official Australia Associate e-mail routing. Now I'll get the insights and perspective that will help me be productive and "in the know". I'm anxious to see what global intrigue will soon be part of my new job. I don't have to wait long until "ping" - I get my first message! The e-mail subject references a project called "dishwasher". It must be a top-secret project since I haven't yet heard of it so I hurry to open it and begin my grand new assignment:

_____________________________________________
From:  xxx
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 12:47 AM
To: DL_AP_AUS_VIC_ALL
Subject: Dishwasher

Make sure before you put something in the dishwasher to rinse it off first, because I really don’t like cleaning your dirty rice and cereal off your plates.

Thank you

 xxx

 | Administrator | Cerner Corporation | Ph:  | www.cerner.com

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Update - 10-November

It looks like someone didn't read the warning message. There will be hell to pay tomorrow when the dishwasher lady finds this ... stay tuned...