She flubbed her lines - but that was just because she was multi-tasking!
Captain Kim
Friday, September 9, 2011
More Cockatoos
We were hanging out on a Sunday afternoon with all of the windows open and heard a commotion outside.
There were a bunch of Cockatoos on our balcony. At one point we counted 12 - and there were more above, below, and around the corner from us.
Most of them look like this
But they let this guy hang out with them. I guess Cockatoos are accepting of all shapes, sizes, and colours. Poor guy. Or maybe it's a baby and hasn't got his fluff yet.
Some videos.
Here are 4 of them keeping an eye on the neighborhood. You can see others flying around in the background. Kim and I debating whether it's safe to get closer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaTEqMT0_Y8
The head of the gang was next door and decided to come see what we were up to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fokU4nm_ak
Now their attention has turned away from the neighborhood and toward us. I couldn't get it all in the camera but there were dozens of them swarming around and looking like they were going to come our way. Our bedroom window was wide open just off camera and they appeared to be going inside. Time to close the windows.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPtG2Si0jOg
There were a bunch of Cockatoos on our balcony. At one point we counted 12 - and there were more above, below, and around the corner from us.
Most of them look like this
But they let this guy hang out with them. I guess Cockatoos are accepting of all shapes, sizes, and colours. Poor guy. Or maybe it's a baby and hasn't got his fluff yet.
Some videos.
Here are 4 of them keeping an eye on the neighborhood. You can see others flying around in the background. Kim and I debating whether it's safe to get closer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaTEqMT0_Y8
The head of the gang was next door and decided to come see what we were up to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fokU4nm_ak
Now their attention has turned away from the neighborhood and toward us. I couldn't get it all in the camera but there were dozens of them swarming around and looking like they were going to come our way. Our bedroom window was wide open just off camera and they appeared to be going inside. Time to close the windows.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPtG2Si0jOg
Monday, August 15, 2011
Bryan's Birthday at Port Douglas
Last month we went to Port Douglas, Queensland to celebrate Bryan's 50th birthday! Port Douglas is in far north Queensland and is one of the popular places to stay when planning a visit to the Great Barrier Reef. It is a small town similar to Key West with lots of open air restaurants and bars with live music.
On the first day, we went on a tour of the Daintree Rainforest. We enjoyed the beautiful scenery and the views of the rainforest and the beach.
We saw the warnings at the beginning of our journey to watch out for the deadly crocodiles. There are many places in Queensland where you cannot go swimming. Last week a crocodile was even found on a main street in the town of Cairns!
On the second day we did a snorkelling tour to the Reef. The boat ride out to the Reef was about 90 minutes and then we stopped at three different places for snorkelling. The water was very cold and a bit rough! We're not used to snorkelling in the middle of the ocean. We almost skipped the third snorkelling spot due to the cold - but luckily we decided to jump in at the last minute. The coral and fish were the most colourful here. And we got a picture of us to post on the blog! It was a real challenge to set the timer on the camera, perch it perfectly on a hunk of coral, and then swim into frame... but we got it!
On the first day, we went on a tour of the Daintree Rainforest. We enjoyed the beautiful scenery and the views of the rainforest and the beach.
We saw the warnings at the beginning of our journey to watch out for the deadly crocodiles. There are many places in Queensland where you cannot go swimming. Last week a crocodile was even found on a main street in the town of Cairns!
Later in the day on a river cruise we saw several crocodiles just hanging out on the beach by the river!!!
On the second day we did a snorkelling tour to the Reef. The boat ride out to the Reef was about 90 minutes and then we stopped at three different places for snorkelling. The water was very cold and a bit rough! We're not used to snorkelling in the middle of the ocean. We almost skipped the third snorkelling spot due to the cold - but luckily we decided to jump in at the last minute. The coral and fish were the most colourful here. And we got a picture of us to post on the blog! It was a real challenge to set the timer on the camera, perch it perfectly on a hunk of coral, and then swim into frame... but we got it!
On our last day we decided to keep things a bit more low key. We took a walk on the beach in the morning, soaked up some sun and then rented bikes in the afternoon to ride around town and down the beach.
We ended the day with a sunset drink and a nice dinner.
Overall it was a great trip!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
My mom has been kidnapped!
It is difficult to describe the isolation that separates us from the real world - where most of our friends and family are. We survive by maintaining connections through technology- e-mail, phones, Skype, blogs, etc. But there is always that nagging awareness that we are so far from home that even a plane ticket can't really solve a problem should one come up.
And then there are times, like today, when technology fails us, the contact is broken, the isolation amplifies and we are swept into a spiralling vortex of escalating panic and helpless, gripping, and completely irrational fear. It's not fun when it happens to me - but it was kind of funny when it happened to Kim this morning. Let me explain...
Shortly after we arrived at work this morning an instant message from Kim popped up on my computer screen:
Dear
{dramatic pause}
There is a problem with my iPhone
When Kim sends me a message that says Dear {dramatic pause} There is a problem with my iPhone - that is not really what she means. You have to be able to translate wife speak - which I am actually very good at. Before I translate Dear {dramatic pause} There is a problem with my iPhone for you, my loyal readers - I need to tell a story.
Several weeks ago, as I was about to begin another of my diets, I decided to take a "before" picture of my fat self. I thought it would be funny to take it with Kim's iPhone while wearing my grey Anthony Weiner boxer briefs. I got quite a chuckle out of it. Kim did not. Her iPhone is a corporate phone and she was convinced that my muffin top hanging over boxer brief picture was immediately intercepted by the corporate e-mail / phone / internet porno police. Our company does actually have a team of e-mail / phone / internet porno police by the way- but I was pretty confident this didn't qualify as porno. We agreed to disagree and dropped the subject.
Neither of us has mentioned this incident for weeks. Not since about 12 seconds after it happened. But, nonetheless, this morning when I read on my computer screen Dear {dramatic pause} There is a problem with my phone. I immediately knew that what she really meant was:
"I knew it! When you took that picture with my iPhone I knew I would get busted and now the corporate porno police have put some kind of secret surveillance software on it and the surveillance software has a glitch and now it is making my phone act funny! I knew it! I knew it! I just knew this was going to happen!"
In case you are wondering - this is not the "panic and fear" part of the story. I'm working towards that.
I remained calm and asked her about the nature of her iPhone problem. She explained, "well, I keep calling my mom and it rings once and then it answers and I can hear things in the background and I can hear her voice talking to other people- but she doesn't talk to me. When I call back it just keeps doing the same thing."
"Hmmmm..." I pondered. "Isn't it more likely that the problem is with her phone and not yours - since it is answering?" ...Unspoken by me, but fully understood by both of us - I'm not sure how some kind of faulty corporate porno filter could create that scenario.
I went back to work - but didn't get far. Another round of instant messages...
Dear. I'm seriously worried. :)
I try to interpret this one. I'm stumped. Do I focus on the "seriously worried" part? Or the smiley face at the end part? My wife speak translator was struggling with this one. And then someone came into my office to do some real work and I decided the smiley face was the decider.
After a few minutes I looked up from my meeting and I could see Kim standing anxiously outside of my office and she looked seriously worried. Ooops. Wrong decider. I hastily shut down my conversation and invited Kim to come into my office. She plopped into the chair:
k- I'm worried that something is wrong.
b- Because you can't get ahold of you mom?
k- yes. I can hear voices in the background and I can hear her talking sometimes. But I don't recognize the voices and she wouldn't be around strange voices like that.
b- What does she say when you hear her talking? Does she sound like she is in trouble?
k - no. she said something about feta cheese. And I could hear kids voices and it sounded like she was talking to the kids about feta cheese and other things.
b- you mean like she is at the grocery store?
k - no. it doesn't sound like the grocery store.
b- Is it like "I'd like some feta cheese with that" like she is ordering something?
k- no. it's like she is struggling and straining and saying it.
b- like "arrrrrrgh. feta cheese".
k - no, not like a pirate ordering feta cheese.
b- what does it sound like then?
k - actually... it sounds like she is answering her phone in her pocket and trying to talk in code so that whoever the voices are won't know she answered her phone. I think she might be kidnapped or in trouble or something.
b - {pause. think carefully about what you say next...} ummm. Have you tried to call her back?
k- yes. it always rings once - and then she answers - and then she says something in code and I know I'm supposed to know the code but I'm so nervous right now that I can't figure it out.
b - like "feta cheese"
k- yes! or one time she said "little monster".
b- did you ever discuss code words with her? and did you agree that "feta cheese" and "little monster" were secret code words to fool kidnappers? {look concerned. be calming. don't ridicule. your wife needs you to calm her right now.}
k- I don't remember! I don't think so! Maybe. Oh God! Why won't she just answer the phone!!
b- {I'm losing her... talk her down... get control} Is she maybe at an office picnic? did she meet Joette for a drink? is she at the golf course?
k- No! No! No! She's not any of those places. I just know it. That's why I'm sure she is in trouble.
b- can you call your sister to see if she knows about any social events tonight?
k- No! Then she will panic too!
b - let's call her on my speaker phone
Kim pushed the buttons and was so flustered that she called some random number in North Carolina. I looked up the real number and she took a deep breath and dialled again... Just like she said, it rang exactly once and answered and I could hear voices. Just like Kim said. We listened closely for clues and our ears were pressed close to the speaker.
I focused on the voices and although I couldn't really understand exactly what they were saying - I decided that the voices sounded calm and measured and there wasn't any apparent distress or threat. Kim reluctantly agreed that they sounded a lot like Fox 4 News at 5.
So I carefully weighed my next move. I thought about pressing and holding one of the numbers on my keypad and that would send the beeeeeeeeeep through to her phone and she might hear it. But, on the other hand, - it could also tip off her kidnappers that she had a hidden phone and then her only thread of contact, her only hope of being saved, would be cut off.
I weighed the risk for about .001 second and then held down one of the number keys.
It was working. I could hear rustling and fidgeting and Laurie said "what the ..."
Kim shouted into the phone "MOM! MOM! Answer me! Are you okay?!"
Laurie fumbled around with the phone and pressed some buttons causing the beep to ring out on our end and finally realized that we were on the line shouting at her.
Of course she was safe and we told her what had been happening.
We were able to work out that she got a new phone and it had been sitting on the counter somehow answering itself for the entire afternoon and letting all of us spy on her while she did her normal routine. When she heard the beeeeeeeep it was enough to get her to investigate.
Relieved and relaxed - Kim asked her if she was talking to someone about feta cheese?
l - no. I'm by myself. Nobody else here.
k- but I'm sure I heard you say 'feta cheese'?
l - nope. I haven't said a word since I got home at 4:00. Just me here, by myself.
k - that's strange
l- yes - it really is strange because I did spill some feta cheese on the floor awhile ago and had to clean it up.
b- {dramatic pause} were you maybe talking to yourself while you cleaned it up?
l - nope. I never said a word.
b- um hmm...
{finally - I've got some blog material for today. it's been awhile... }
we never did solve the 'little monster' mystery though...
And then there are times, like today, when technology fails us, the contact is broken, the isolation amplifies and we are swept into a spiralling vortex of escalating panic and helpless, gripping, and completely irrational fear. It's not fun when it happens to me - but it was kind of funny when it happened to Kim this morning. Let me explain...
Shortly after we arrived at work this morning an instant message from Kim popped up on my computer screen:
Dear
{dramatic pause}
There is a problem with my iPhone
When Kim sends me a message that says Dear {dramatic pause} There is a problem with my iPhone - that is not really what she means. You have to be able to translate wife speak - which I am actually very good at. Before I translate Dear {dramatic pause} There is a problem with my iPhone for you, my loyal readers - I need to tell a story.
Several weeks ago, as I was about to begin another of my diets, I decided to take a "before" picture of my fat self. I thought it would be funny to take it with Kim's iPhone while wearing my grey Anthony Weiner boxer briefs. I got quite a chuckle out of it. Kim did not. Her iPhone is a corporate phone and she was convinced that my muffin top hanging over boxer brief picture was immediately intercepted by the corporate e-mail / phone / internet porno police. Our company does actually have a team of e-mail / phone / internet porno police by the way- but I was pretty confident this didn't qualify as porno. We agreed to disagree and dropped the subject.
Neither of us has mentioned this incident for weeks. Not since about 12 seconds after it happened. But, nonetheless, this morning when I read on my computer screen Dear {dramatic pause} There is a problem with my phone. I immediately knew that what she really meant was:
"I knew it! When you took that picture with my iPhone I knew I would get busted and now the corporate porno police have put some kind of secret surveillance software on it and the surveillance software has a glitch and now it is making my phone act funny! I knew it! I knew it! I just knew this was going to happen!"
In case you are wondering - this is not the "panic and fear" part of the story. I'm working towards that.
I remained calm and asked her about the nature of her iPhone problem. She explained, "well, I keep calling my mom and it rings once and then it answers and I can hear things in the background and I can hear her voice talking to other people- but she doesn't talk to me. When I call back it just keeps doing the same thing."
"Hmmmm..." I pondered. "Isn't it more likely that the problem is with her phone and not yours - since it is answering?" ...Unspoken by me, but fully understood by both of us - I'm not sure how some kind of faulty corporate porno filter could create that scenario.
I went back to work - but didn't get far. Another round of instant messages...
Dear. I'm seriously worried. :)
I try to interpret this one. I'm stumped. Do I focus on the "seriously worried" part? Or the smiley face at the end part? My wife speak translator was struggling with this one. And then someone came into my office to do some real work and I decided the smiley face was the decider.
After a few minutes I looked up from my meeting and I could see Kim standing anxiously outside of my office and she looked seriously worried. Ooops. Wrong decider. I hastily shut down my conversation and invited Kim to come into my office. She plopped into the chair:
k- I'm worried that something is wrong.
b- Because you can't get ahold of you mom?
k- yes. I can hear voices in the background and I can hear her talking sometimes. But I don't recognize the voices and she wouldn't be around strange voices like that.
b- What does she say when you hear her talking? Does she sound like she is in trouble?
k - no. she said something about feta cheese. And I could hear kids voices and it sounded like she was talking to the kids about feta cheese and other things.
b- you mean like she is at the grocery store?
k - no. it doesn't sound like the grocery store.
b- Is it like "I'd like some feta cheese with that" like she is ordering something?
k- no. it's like she is struggling and straining and saying it.
b- like "arrrrrrgh. feta cheese".
k - no, not like a pirate ordering feta cheese.
b- what does it sound like then?
k - actually... it sounds like she is answering her phone in her pocket and trying to talk in code so that whoever the voices are won't know she answered her phone. I think she might be kidnapped or in trouble or something.
b - {pause. think carefully about what you say next...} ummm. Have you tried to call her back?
k- yes. it always rings once - and then she answers - and then she says something in code and I know I'm supposed to know the code but I'm so nervous right now that I can't figure it out.
b - like "feta cheese"
k- yes! or one time she said "little monster".
b- did you ever discuss code words with her? and did you agree that "feta cheese" and "little monster" were secret code words to fool kidnappers? {look concerned. be calming. don't ridicule. your wife needs you to calm her right now.}
k- I don't remember! I don't think so! Maybe. Oh God! Why won't she just answer the phone!!
b- {I'm losing her... talk her down... get control} Is she maybe at an office picnic? did she meet Joette for a drink? is she at the golf course?
k- No! No! No! She's not any of those places. I just know it. That's why I'm sure she is in trouble.
b- can you call your sister to see if she knows about any social events tonight?
k- No! Then she will panic too!
b - let's call her on my speaker phone
Kim pushed the buttons and was so flustered that she called some random number in North Carolina. I looked up the real number and she took a deep breath and dialled again... Just like she said, it rang exactly once and answered and I could hear voices. Just like Kim said. We listened closely for clues and our ears were pressed close to the speaker.
I focused on the voices and although I couldn't really understand exactly what they were saying - I decided that the voices sounded calm and measured and there wasn't any apparent distress or threat. Kim reluctantly agreed that they sounded a lot like Fox 4 News at 5.
So I carefully weighed my next move. I thought about pressing and holding one of the numbers on my keypad and that would send the beeeeeeeeeep through to her phone and she might hear it. But, on the other hand, - it could also tip off her kidnappers that she had a hidden phone and then her only thread of contact, her only hope of being saved, would be cut off.
I weighed the risk for about .001 second and then held down one of the number keys.
It was working. I could hear rustling and fidgeting and Laurie said "what the ..."
Kim shouted into the phone "MOM! MOM! Answer me! Are you okay?!"
Laurie fumbled around with the phone and pressed some buttons causing the beep to ring out on our end and finally realized that we were on the line shouting at her.
Of course she was safe and we told her what had been happening.
We were able to work out that she got a new phone and it had been sitting on the counter somehow answering itself for the entire afternoon and letting all of us spy on her while she did her normal routine. When she heard the beeeeeeeep it was enough to get her to investigate.
Relieved and relaxed - Kim asked her if she was talking to someone about feta cheese?
l - no. I'm by myself. Nobody else here.
k- but I'm sure I heard you say 'feta cheese'?
l - nope. I haven't said a word since I got home at 4:00. Just me here, by myself.
k - that's strange
l- yes - it really is strange because I did spill some feta cheese on the floor awhile ago and had to clean it up.
b- {dramatic pause} were you maybe talking to yourself while you cleaned it up?
l - nope. I never said a word.
b- um hmm...
{finally - I've got some blog material for today. it's been awhile... }
we never did solve the 'little monster' mystery though...
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Our best day in Sydney
Saturday was a really nice day so we decided to go out on a sailboat.
Luckily I had my iPhone with me and was able to capture this event. I love my iPhone. Sorry it's a bit shakey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk5kqEmm-RA
Then on our way back into the harbour ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhADOQsatJ0
The rocks in the background are the "north head". Loyal blog readers will recognize that is where we live (about a mile over those rocks).
During the day we saw many, many of them... here are some photos...
The tail really is as big as that boat in the background
We agreed that this has been our best day in Sydney so far.
**********************
update: this happened the next day - a boy was fishing in a boat and got whacked by a whale's tale...
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/boy-knocked-unconscious-by-whale-20110627-1gm9d.html
Also, same day... My bet is that he got whacked off the boat by a whale...
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/yacht-mystery-man-lost-overboard-while-wife-slept-20110627-1gm7t.html
Luckily I had my iPhone with me and was able to capture this event. I love my iPhone. Sorry it's a bit shakey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk5kqEmm-RA
Then on our way back into the harbour ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhADOQsatJ0
The rocks in the background are the "north head". Loyal blog readers will recognize that is where we live (about a mile over those rocks).
During the day we saw many, many of them... here are some photos...
The tail really is as big as that boat in the background
We were watching these two off in the distance - when Kim screamed "Look!! There is one right below us!!" We all leaned over and saw the enormous beast moving along beside our boat. The captain threw down his camera and lunged to shut of the engine and said "Shit". The picture isn't great because it was so large and so close that it couldn't fit in the frame. Kim took this picture because I was running around the boat looking for life jackets while flailing my arms in the "Joe Geris Jungle Cows are coming escape dance" because I was sure we were going to get flipped over. About 5 minutes after this incident our captain leaned over and told me that he was still a little shaken up by it. It hadn't happened to him before.
We agreed that this has been our best day in Sydney so far.
**********************
update: this happened the next day - a boy was fishing in a boat and got whacked by a whale's tale...
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/boy-knocked-unconscious-by-whale-20110627-1gm9d.html
Also, same day... My bet is that he got whacked off the boat by a whale...
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/yacht-mystery-man-lost-overboard-while-wife-slept-20110627-1gm7t.html
Friday, June 3, 2011
Australia's Got Talent
Jack Vidgen is an Australia version of Justin Bieber. He is from Manly and we are going to watch him perform at the beach today for a neighbourhood event. This is a fun clip to watch if you like the Susan Boyle type of feel-good stuff...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6Imk_-gypk
The locals are going nuts over this kid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6Imk_-gypk
The locals are going nuts over this kid.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Fiji Part III - Rescued
{this is continued from Fiji Part II - Fiji Time}
Thursday, April 28, 2011. Sand Spit, 5 miles off of Royal Davui Island
Five minutes until our boat was supposed to arrive, yet there was no boat on the horizon as far as we could see. It was clear that the crew was on Fiji time.
Our tent was occasionally being splashed with water from both sides and the Spit was just a sliver. There was a bit of higher ground and I had moved the cooler and our things to a dry spot. I decided to leave the umbrella tent standing because it may be the only thing visible above the water.
The boat that brought us out to the spit did not have gps and the process of finding the spit involved some zig-zagging around and arguing between the crew since there weren't really any landmarks to follow. When the boat got about five minutes away (don't know distance - just time) we could see the white bump in the water.
There wasn't much of a white bump to see at this point. And there was no boat within five minutes of us.
In an act of defiant stubbornness I had pledged that I would not use the emergency satellite phone to get an early pickup. I debated with myself whether a phone call now would count as "early" since we still had five minutes on the clock - yet the boat was at least 20 minutes away because we would be able to see it otherwise.
Since we had come this far, and Kim didn't seem too worried, I decided to wait. A moral victory of sorts.
I've always been critical of the men on the Titanic who went down in their evening wear playing music and shit. The first time I heard that story I thought - 'that's crazy. with all of the stuff on that ship and in the kitchen and laying around I could have built a raft out of an empty soup pot, a mattress, and a cello! At least I would have a chance!'
So I looked around me and tried to imagine how I could build a raft on the sand spit. I had an idea on how to do it - but then I decided that it would be impossible for the crew to find us bobbing around somewhere randomly in the Pacific on a raft made of out of an Eskimo cooler, an upside down umbrella tent, an empty wine bottle, and a tampon disposal bag. It would be much better if we could stay attached to the Spit.
Besides the logic of this thinking - the Portuguese spite in me liked the idea of the crew coming back to find us standing on top of our cooler and I could glare at them with an icy-cold stare and then slowly look at my watch. The image of that gave me satisfaction and I think I even rehearsed the slow glare when Kim wasn't watching.
Since we still had time to take action I decided to build a mound of sand that we could stand on. That might give us 10 more minutes or so. The sand was wet and heavy when I tried to shove it around with my foot and Kim was laughing at me - so I gave up and decided standing on the cooler would have to do.
It was officially 10 minutes past pickup time and we still couldn't see a boat on the horizon. So, with honour, I took the satellite phone out of it's protective case and followed the instructions to make the call. At least I didn't call early.
The two guys who had dropped us off had apparently been sent to the main island for some reason and they forgot about us. My guess is that Chief Captain crossed our name off the list when we were one minute late and at "shift change" they forgot to tell their replacements.
It took about 20 more minutes for a guy to arrive. The high ground was still dry. I held the boat, Kim got in, and the new guy took down the umbrella tent in ankle deep water. He didn't bother folding or wrapping or anything - jus threw the wet mess into the boat and we took off. I asked him 'how long before the entire thing is under water". According to him we had 8 more minutes.
Later in the day we saw the Chief Captain hanging the wet umbrella tent out in the sun to dry. He apologised and said "was you standin' on de Esky!? Sometimes de people be standin' on de Esky when we get dem!" and he let out a hearty belly laugh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)